Konoha High
by OneWingedButterfly
Summary: Kingdom Hearts/Bleach/Naruto crossover. Lots of crack pairings. If you want a pairing let me know and I'll put it in xD. Zexion is a homophobe because of his flamer gay brother Marluxia and Riku denies being gay although his brother Axel knows better.


**I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Bleach, Naruto or any of the other respective companies in this fic. They are owned by the person who founded and created them. This chapter is in Zexions POV.**

School. School has become... How do I say this? Well hell would be one way to describe it, but even that would be an understatement. The work isn't so hard or boring, actually most of it is fun. The teachers aren't too bad... Well that may be an understatement too. I heard a rumor last year that the gym teacher, Kenpachi Zaraki, suddenly began chasing students who weren't running the mile fast enough, with a real, 3 foot sword. And well… Knowing him, I assume the rumors are true. I'm not quite sure why the principal, Genryusai Yamamoto doesn't fire him, but that man is weird in his own ways too. But no, not even the crazy teachers are my main concern. The problem I have is my brother, Marluxia Illusor. Now I'm not homophobic... Or at least I wasn't... Until he came out of the closet... With a boom I might add. And well he's as much of the stereotype of gay people as Jefree Star is. I imagine he'll start asking people to call him "she" by the end of this school year. Usually I'd be happy for my brother, but well... I get fucked over sideways with all the teasing.

"Ohhhhhhh Zexy Kins." The stupid blink blob doesn't even bother to knock on my door. He just charges on in like he's a sinless angel. Well he's far from sinless in my book... Especially because he just called my "Zexy kins." **I. Fucking. Hate. That. Nickname.**

Trying to keep my temper under control I manage to nod my head sideways a bit. "What do you want?" Hey it's nicer than what I _wanted_ to say.

"Have you seen my p-" I put my hand up before he can finish. I have this bad feeling that what he's missing is something I _want _him to miss. And never see again. And I'm sure as hell not helping him look for "It."

"What is it Zexy Kins?" He says with that damn annoying lisp that he uses every God Forsaken moment of the day. I seriously wish I could gag him and shove him in my closet. Maybe have a pleasant school year without him around. Sadly, well… It's just a wish. I don't think I have it in me to make it happen.

I sigh and do an epic face palm. I've tried reasoning with him to at least not take "it" to school. He knows how much I hate "it" anyway. So why the hell is he asking me to help me find "it?" "I have a bad feeling you're asking me to find your nasty ass purse." I spit out the last word with distain. Marluxia knows I don't care for how much of a flamer he acts and that I don't care if I offend him one way or another.

"Oh em gee.. Zexy Kins.. You actually called it a purse!" Cue the dramatic squealing and him racing to hug me. No way. Not happening. I practically have to fly out of my computer chair to avoid his flailing arms and nearly decapitate my head on the table behind it. He's so ecstatic because he always insists it's a well... purse. And I always try to make it out to him that it's a satchel or a hand bag. Something not as bad as it is in reality. I guess I'm in denial.

Standing up after running head first into my arm chair, where I had been sitting only a few seconds earlier, the pink haired teen frowns and I see his eyes watering. My first reaction is to face palm but I really don't want to hear him bawl for a half an hour. I do have my first day of 10th grade tomorrow. I have to get some sleep.

Konoha High is a school for elite prestiges. Well rich people in short. Most of us are actors. Others, our families are just rich. And yes, there are tons of snobby kids. School starts where we left off from summer vacation tomorrow. If only I can get this pink blob out of my room so I can get some sleep and not look like utter hell tomorrow. _If only. _ Making an irritated moan I push my pride and self will back into a bottle in my heart, where I push most anything lately. And then I apologize. "Hey _Marly Chan._ I'm sorry." You may think I insulted him there, but in all honesty that's his "nickname" and he wants people to call him that.

Sure enough his waterworks turn to giggles. "Oh Zexy Kinnies you really do know how to make me blush." Please, give me the strength not to gag and puke all over my $1,400 throw rug that my parents bought me for my birthday two years ago. I start thinking back to the tying him in the closet idea, this time half serious. I think I have some rope in the garage...

"But Zexy Kins.. I really need my Hello Kitty purse. It has some very valuable things in it!" Ok, yeah... I always do wonder what he keeps in it. I'm not the only one though. The whole school always comes up with rumors about what's in the purse. Some people say it's a female razor for shaving his legs. Some even say he carries make up and tampons. And Hidan swore he opened it and saw a fake penor. I'm just saying... And if you don't get what a fake penor is, yeah I'm talking about a dildo. But if anyone asks him what's in there exactly, he won't say. Not a word. Also, he's very protective of it. If he catches you trying to look in it... Well let's just say he actually put someone in the hospital. Yeah I wouldn't think he was capable of it either. Why couldn't I have a normal brother he liked the hottest cheerleader and got in fights that weren't over his purse or which pair of shoes were better?

I finally got myself under control and muttered, "I don't know where it is. Now please I need to get some sleep."

The pink thing blinks. He literally stands there and blinks a few times like he can't comprehend what sleeping is. "Sleep? Zexy Kins? You sleep?"

No shit Sherlock. Someone just won "Who wants to be a millionaire." "Yes, now get out!" Jesus. What I wouldn't do for a frying pan to knock him over the head with, so maybe he could lay unconscious for a few hours and I could have some peace and quiet. Wait... Only girls use frying pans to do that. And I am in no way girly like my brother. _I like vagina! _Well, there goes the frying pan idea but who's to say I don't have time to get my rope?

"Oh poo Zexy Kins. You're no fun. Fine I'll go look for it myself." He did this womanly little humph thing that usually would have made me laugh were it not so... Well pathetic (Not to mention it was my own brother the noise was coming from). Then he walks out the door. _He actually left! _Well it's a pleasant surprise. Turning out my lights, I curl up in my bed and shift my pillow. Just as I drift off to sleep a high pitch squeal jolts me awake.

_Shit… He found the purse… My life is ruined…_


End file.
